No, I am no druggy. No druggy at all! I am not talking about "hitting" anything illegal for the Americans and legal for Canadians.

 

I am talking about hits on my space.

 

 

I am such a baby, I complain about my number of hits, and celebrate when I get more than 100 in a week. Plus, they are practically all I ever blog about, and they are the complete subject of today's entry, because I am lazy and all I have in my life right now is golf, and golf is not something that anyone wants to read about daily. Especially when the daily news is "Yes, I did manage to score under 100 on the front nine today! Yay, and good for me!"

 

So I will talk about hits.

 

 

I have 3800 (it's been over a minute since I last looked, though; maybe I have 3801 by now).

 

 

 

For those of you  who don't know how to check the number of hits you have on your space, I shall tell you now.

 

While editing your space, simply click on "Settings". It is in the top right corner, right next to "Customize". Once you are on the "Settings" page, you should see little tabs near the top, right under Home, Profile, Blog, etc. Some of the tabs are "Space Settings",  "Blog Settings", and "Permissions". One more of them is "Statistics". Click on "Statistics", and you should end up on a page that makes it quite obvious how many hits you have!

 

There, you were rewarded by coming to my space with knowledge of your own!

 

 

 

You know who's nice? Kamry. Here ya go, Kamry.

 

 

P.S. WHOOPS! If the space is private, then oh well. Kam, just make it public for like a week.

 

love, ben the INFORMATIVE!

 

 

Today was a two-thumbs-down-day.

 

It started out fine: I knew what was coming with the physical and all, but most of it was fun. Take my blood pressure= left thumb is twitching in the upward direction. Take my pulse= I'm thinking, Hey! This isn't half bad! Left thumb is getting higher. Test my reflexes= Hey! That's a funny little orange hammer! And that kinda tickled! Left thumb takes a huge swing vertically. Give my belly a slight massage, make me stretch and stuff= Man, this is boring. Thumb teeters a little downward. Takes out this funny little looky-at-eyes-and-ears light thingy, inspects eyes and ears= Hee hee! Thumb swings up again. Instructs me to pull down pants in order for him to check for hernias= Hell no! I thought he would forget! Damn! Thumbs teeters heavily, preparing to nosedive... Actual check is performed= Ahhh! What the hell?!? NOOOOO! Why is this happening to me? This is a dude! A frickin dude! I need an adult! I need an adult! And not one who insists on checking my secret parts for sticking-out organs. Thumb plunges in an all-out suicide attempt, almost driving through to the center of the Earth, me having to forcefully stop it.

 

Ick.

 

 

Second account:

 

Went to a funeral today. There was no fun. It was not a laughing matter at all. My right thumb knew what to expect, and had totally bombed downward by the end. Not quite as exciting a tale as a sports physical, but still thumbsdownworthy after all. No story. Just a funeral. Just sad. Thumbs down.

 

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Today could also be described as a two-thumbs-up-day.

 

I called my mom to ask if she could pick me up from practice tomorrow, and she told me to got to Muse Monkey's space. I did so, and saw that she had a big banner directing people to my site and telling them how great I am. Well, I don't know if I'm that great, but it was an awful nice gesture. One thumb way up for that.

 

Which leads me to my second thumb. I checked my hits. I have 46 today alone! 46! Yes! Other thumb up, too.

 

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The other day, I happened to stumble across a site of somebody who called herself Muse Monkey. The site was a-"muse"-ing (ha, lamorific), and I left a comment on it. She returned the favor by not only commenting twice on my site, but by telling all visitors to her site to come to mine! Yay! That is why I say, with total loudness and proudness,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yikes! I have tons to tell.

 

 

First of all, last week I had over 120 hits on my space (I know, it seems little, but it's big to me), and this week, already in its SECOND DAY, I only have nine. Yikes. Super yikes. I need to do something about this.

 

Next, I am in golf. It was obvious with the entry about me being in golf pictures, but in case you missed the point: I am in golf. And today was supposed to be the first practice. I, of course, had to miss it, because I have not yet had a physical. I hate stupid rules. It's not like I'm gonna give everyone testicular cancer just by practicing with them! That's bs! Fo sho! Grrr. Stupid rules.

 

Wednesday is my physical. Wednesday is also a funeral that I am going to. I am going to miss school that day; I would say "yay" but it's a funeral. You know. There are kind of some rules that go along with funerals. Not saying "yay" is one of them.

 

As for April Fools' Day, I got fooled. But I also did some fooling of my own! HAHAHAHAHA!

 

School: we have a test tomorrow. I cannot believe it! Our last test in that class was less than a month ago. Usually they are like two-and-a-half months apart! Weird. In algebra we are learning this stupid hard crap that I hate and I wish we could just go back to slope-intercept form! I miss it. And next year I might get to be in geometry with my older brother! He will be a junior and I will be a freshman! I will be fourteen and he will be sixteen! HAHAHAHAHA!

 

 

Some words that are fun to say:

 

Agapanthus

Colloquialism

Marsupial

Anesthesia

Unununium

Dodecahedron

Monotonous

 

 

 

love, ben the MONOTONOUS!

 

I stayed at the high school (golf pictures). I had to wear a shirt that was an XXL. Extra, EXTRA large. It was a dress; past my knees, almost to my wrists. But it was tucked in. But that is beside the point. It was big. I had my team picture taken... my individual picture... blah blah blah. Boring boring boring.

 

But wait! There's more! Stepdad came to pick me up from the school! I got into the car! We drove home! I got out of the car! I walked up the driveway! I went inside and put my stuff away! I walked to the kitchen counter! I picked up my report card! I looked at it! I noticed no minuses behind any of my As! YES! YES! 4.0! YES!

 

 

Yea, baby. Year GPA: 3.972. Quarter GPA: 4. frickin' 0.

 

 

love, ben the GENIUS!

P.S. I really do not try to be cocky. It was fitting for this entry.

This really is a must-hear story:

 

 

One day, I was walking to the libary. When I got there, I noticed a very odd thing. There was a woof warshing dishes! I was all like, "Ahhhhh! There is a woof warshing dishes!"

 

At this point, of course, I was very flustrated. Very, very flustrated. So I sat down to draw a pitcher. I decided that pitchers tend to sooth me, especially very detailful pitchers of punkins. So I sat down to draw a pitcher of a very mischevious (stress the "eee" sound before the "us" sound) looking punkin.

 

Irregardless of my punkin pitcher, the woof warshing dishes in the libary was still keeping me quite flustrated. Or, put into even simpler terms, fustrated. You know what I mean. So to relieve my fustration I chucked a reraser at the woof. I chucked a bunch at him until he was abruised into submission. Take that, libary woof!

 

 

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Doo-do do. Does anyone else here feel like a complete idiot? If not, maybe these will put me back on the plus:

 

 

A canner exceedingly canny

One morning remarked to his granny

A canner can can

Anything that he can

But a canner can't can a can, can he?

 

 

There was a young lady of Harris

Whom nothing could ever embarass

'Til the salts that she shook

In the bath that she took

Turned out to be Plaster of Paris.

 

There was a young maid from Madras

Who had a magnificent ass;

Not rounded and pink

As you probably think-

But 'twas gray, had long ears, and ate grass.

 

 

love, ben the AMAZING!

Boing! (Spring noise). It is spring! BOING! Whoopty, it is 50 degrees out, whoopty! BOING!

 

 

Love,

Me

 

Today was a blast, you know what I mean? We went to this birthday party in town (I mean a real town), and we had sandwiches and cake and watched a lame (funny, I mean, lamely funny) movie. Ever seen previews for The Shaggy Dog? Very good. In a lame, funny kind of way. Read: little kid movie, be prepared to laugh at the lame jokes that are intensely laughable for 6-year-olds. Don't think I'm not grateful; it was a blast and, whether for the intended reasons or not, it was funny.

 

The cheese on the sandwiches was good, too! And there was fresh (I assume) pineapple. Mmmmm, that is good. Especially with that strawberry dip stuff.

 

The cake was marble. Very (admittedly, I'm not being cruel here) last minute, but good anyway. Quite good indeed. The delicious piece that I ate was clumsily dropped (by Whacko Jacko, no less) onto the undoubtedly revolting movie theatre floor, frosting-side down. I, being the mighty non-sissy that I am, scraped off the frosting and ate the cake part in one bite. Mmmmm again.

 

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It has been an interesting weekend. Interesting indeed. Had some good-ass pizza last night, as well as cake, spaghetti, garlic bread, and delicious salad with homemade dressing.

 

Did this thing at church yesterday, Mom probably has a very long and easily-read entry from a month or two back. Just go to her site.

 

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I love me!

 

My whole life is a big damn bowl of soup. And now there will be peppers in the soup. Deal with it.

 

 

Also, notice the new lists. And notice the ones that you can't notice anymore because they have been removed.

 

We have another snow day here in Southeastern Minnesota. We didn't get that much last night, but today we've gotten like 6 more inches! It is freakin sweet to live in Minnesota, especially in our area because we get the most snow. HA!

 

So I just got back from riding. FINALLY I got to go, because somebody took the initiative to go with me. Yes! It was fun but it was my first time riding as hard as we did (which, by the way, was not very hard because I suck), so I had a little bit of trouble. But it was fun I guess.

 

Bad news: although I got to stay home from school today due to its closing, I HAD TO GET UP EARLY ANYWAY FOR A STUPID ORTHO APPOINTMENT! Which was dumb anyway because all they did was pry open my mouth and say, "Looks good. See you in three months." Literally!

Good news: I was at the Hy-Vee Bakery getting some donuts (bavarian cream filled maple long john), I saw it. The one. The only. The almighty. The immaculate NANAIMO BAR!

 

 

LA-LALA! I love snow!

 

 

Love, Ben

 

 

Sometimes I feel like nothing that happens to me really stands out and that it all melts together. That is weird but I don't care because I can be weird if I want to!

 

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Well, today is a snow day. This big surprise blizzard-like thing smashed into Minnesota and there are like tons and tons of schools closed statewide today and ours was one of them so yay!

 

I do not know what to do with my time because I gave up Playstation 2 for Lent. Not that I am such a boring loser that I can't come up with something better to do than stare at a screen all day. Or am I? Probably.

 

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Now I have been slapped in the face, because this big event occurred and now everything is all screwed up again whereas it was all going perfectly fine and dandy. But now my world has been turned upside-down and I feel like nobody will ever be able to deal with things and this sucks because everything was fine and perfect and someone royally f***ed it up!

 

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Oh, and I have to present a book report on Thursday. Maybe Friday now, because of the snow day. I am ready to do it like right now though. The suspense is killing me.

 

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Why do I even bother? Nobody wants to come to my space anymore anyway because they are expecting me to like not have blogged for a week, which is usually true. Only the awesomely cool people visit my space! Here is a big green and white sticker to place wherever you want to and assume that I actually gave you one because that is the prize for coming here. And tell your friends about the awesome sticker you get for coming here. It is comprised of my two favorite colors! AKA the best sticker ever invented!

 

 

P.S. The sticker can actually be anything you want it to be so long as it is green and white.

 

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"Look! Is Malcolm in Middle!"

"I'm not a boy!"

"Yes you ahh...."

 

(The "ahh" is a Chinese guy saying "are")

 

I should not have to explain what this is from.